Honey, read the blog.

Newsflash: David doesn't wonder if I like Ho-Hos or Ring Dings. He also likes to tease me about how I'm blogging and not reading my Contracts homework.

Tonight I learned, besides the five situations in which contracts can get revoked, that one of the doors to the Stop and Shop in South Bay Plaza is broken; that vitamins cost a lot; that Suffolk closes to card access seemingly at 11:00 on Sunday; and that the bridge at the intersection of Dorchester Ave. and Summer Street near South Station is closed to normal cars. It's the "backend of the Post Office," as David aptly described.

P.S. The password is Teriyaki.

What time is it?

We've mistakenly fallen asleep on a Friday night at 11:00. Suddenly I wake up and realize the lights are on and my contacts are still in. I adjust my hand on my pillow and suddenly my hand is wet. David is borderline comatose next to me.

k: Uggh, David, are you drooling?
d: (no response, just some squirming and wiping of the mouth.)
k: God, what time is it?
d: (no response.)
k: What time is it? (getting clearly annoyed, on top of the I-just-woke-up crankiness)
d: (inexplicable gibberish in a language that couldn't possibly be English.) Honey, the baseball, the Web site, I can't see!
k: What are you talking about?
d: Honnnneeey (incomprehensible moaning/whining sounds)

Wow. Needless to say. No tumble that night.

k


P.S. What statute is that?

Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up alot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


Thanks,
A Troubled User



REPLY:

Dear Troubled User,


This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to no tallow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.


Best of luck,
Tech Support



(Thanks Carey for the laugh.....)

these pants are not from HipZepi

I'm a horse of a different color......